11/27/2023 0 Comments God of war ragnarok![]() Long, long, long, long story short, this eventually leads to pissing off Odin and Thor and another odyssey across the nine realms ensues. Norse gods keep trying to kill him, his severed head common law husband won’t shut the fuck up and his son’s reached the age of wanting to stick his penis in things, as well as rebelliously go out at night and hunt for lost Jotnar artefacts and stick his penis in them. Fimbulwinter has set in and poor old hairy dad Kratos still can’t catch a break. The plot picks up where the last one left off. That’s basically my core issue with God of War Ragnarok. Remember in Taxi Driver when Robert DeNiro decides to shoot up a pimp’s house and they just cut to him doing that? Remember how they didn’t show him buying a subway ticket to the pimp’s house and sitting on a train for half an hour muttering about how much fun he’s going to have shooting it up. “Tee hee, he’ll never suspect we’re zooming right up on Kratos’ acne scars to hide the fact that we’re swapping in another pointlessly overdetailed environment for the seventeen millionth time.” What’s with this obsession with never cutting away? Cutting away is fine. Every time you make me squeeze through a narrow cave now I feel like you’re insulting my intelligence. Little moving red line like in Indiana Jones. ![]() But surely the fact that we all know that means you can drop the pretence. Yeah, I know, you’re using it to hide loading. I’ll stop telling everyone you’re a bunch of prissy corpo scum who stopped giving us review codes because we had too much self-respect to gargle your nads, and in return, you stop making me squeeze through narrow caves. We have a merch store as well! Visit the store for brand new ZP merch.
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